Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please come you make the beer taste better
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
