are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize