just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So squirting runs in the family.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
