You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
