booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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