shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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