why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize