We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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