I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
