Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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