She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
