This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
