remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
