At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize