dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
