i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize