that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
