When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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