part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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