so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
