Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
