The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
