So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
