Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
