Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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