I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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