So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
