I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
