i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
