Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
