I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
