i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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