Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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