didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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