I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
