I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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