You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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