did you get engaged???
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
