I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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