with your own penis?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
