I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
