I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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