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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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