you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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