This dress was meant to end up on your floor
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
