Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize