An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
