They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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