I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
