Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
