Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
