Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
