Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
