dude i'm inner monologue high
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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