How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
