we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
