Where are you?
In a non slutty way
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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