Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
