my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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