Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
