It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Everything about him screamed your future.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
