so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
