Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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