I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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