so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
