I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
