dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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