Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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