i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
