i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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