I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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