the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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