school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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