My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
