things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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