maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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