Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
