My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
